Glitz, getaways and glamour have been a major chunk of my life, thanks to the association with one of the leading 5 star hotels in India. It’s surprising as to how one learns immensely and the horizons get widened by exchanging ideas and interacting with people who come from different walks of life. My work has a tinge of seriousness and a huge amount of responsibility attached but it ensures to give me my daily diet of humour and laughter as well. Let me share some wackiest & weirdest of escapades faced while dealing with our esteemed guests.
“Lay the buffet table for me”: “Buffet timings are over sir”! – said the person serving in the 24 hr coffee shop. The response of the guest was commendable, he said, “Either you lay the table or I will withdraw my platinum membership”. Don’t spoil my stay. With a quiet laugh I knew it was time for me to intervene, and I said, “Well in that case sir, our staff at the front desk might be able to assist you” and he knew he had to order a la carte menu.
“I want more of goodies”: “Get me another kit of bathroom items please”, uttered our prime guest over the phone who had asked for bathroom necessities on his getaway at least 3 times by now in a day. By the end of a 4 day visit, I knew more than her that her luggage bag must be full of the hotel goodies. I guess… money can’t buy class.
“Barter system”: We get to encounter guests who forget the subtle difference between a fish market and a 5-star picked by them. One such guest continued to demand a discount on an already 20% discount given bill. He was so utterly stuck and adamant that he said,”chalo 30% nahin to 25% toh kar do yaar”. Shockingly hilarious…
“I want the same room like the last time”: There are guests who apparently are too emotional for comfort, so much so that the connection with the room they took last time never dies. I mean what’s the fetish with the same room, it’s difficult to fathom. “Ma’am I assure you the view will be the same from this room as well as it is just one floor above the previous room”, said the hotel staff. “No but you see I was very comfortable with that room”, now what on earth does that meannnnnn…. speechless….
“Abusive guests”: This is derogatory to quite an extent, I agree guests are guests and are right most of the times however they aren’t God. So dear guest should you plan to get flowery with your language and remember our mothers and sisters then kindly be clear to be thrown out of the hotel, INSTANTLY. Something like this happened with this guy who on his getaway, was wasted totally after a binge drinking episode, and got fiery and showered his silly anger on our hotel staff but in no time his machismo was one with the Earth. Bouncers are quite handy on these occasions you see…
“Flirting is good, but in a healthy manner”: Being presentable and smart runs in your favour and especially if you are a woman but not everytime. Without trying to sound pompous but this strange guest who was an eligible guy for sure, wrote a poem of nearly 300 words describing my so called beauty and compared me with a rose. I love cheese but ewwww.. this was so cheesy and as if this wasn’t a shock enough, a fine lady walked in and asked for his room number, after a brief enquiry we were stunned because she was his wife who wanted to surprise him on his getaway, however I was more surprised than anyone else.
“Oh, I am a regular guest”: Some guests expect a red-carpet treatment just because this happens to be their third stay in the same hotel. Sorry for the disappointment but we believe in no bias, I say with a chuckle. “So how are you??? Said this fine lady who of course was our guest, “Long time actually I was so busy with business finally got some personal time and headed for recuperation here” she added and I listened calmly with a pasted smile on my face wondering where and when the hell have I met her earlier… wow these people give us a good practice of being pretentious.
Hence, I would like to wrap up and say,” Don’t mistake this fake smile and professional body language. If I had a chance, I would have punched those in throat who misbehaved or didn’t treat us well.” True for few but not for all.. Needless to say! 🙂
Have a great day!!!